Change is difficult, and few changes are harder than finding that a bowl has been moved eleven centimetres to the left. Clients ask us how to cope. Here is the method developed by Dr. Biscuit Halloran, tested on seven cats and one very patient accountant.

Step one: Pause

Stand where the bowl used to be. Do not eat from the new position yet. Allow yourself to notice the gap on the floor, and feel the full weight of the absence. It may help to say, aloud, “It was here.”

Step two: Name the feeling

Try to name what you feel. Common answers include annoyance, grief, suspicion, and a quiet respect for the audacity. If you cannot name it, you may simply stare at a human until one of you gives in.

Step three: Examine the new location

Walk around the bowl once, clockwise. Look for signs of improvement, such as better light or a more flattering view of the hallway. If none are found, make a note and proceed to step four.

Step four: Find one thing to be thankful for

There is always something. Perhaps the bowl is full. Perhaps the human has finally learned. Perhaps it is only that the floor is warm in this spot, and the bowl has been placed on its sunniest tile by pure accident.

Step five: Eat

Take one mouthful, with dignity. Do not spill. If you spill, do not look around to see whether anyone noticed, because someone did, and it was Gerald.

Step six: Express appreciation

Appreciation can take many forms. A slow blink is traditional. A leg rub is acceptable. A single quiet purr is considered extravagant and should be reserved for the weekend.

Step seven: Move it back

Once you have shown gratitude, you are free to push the bowl, with your nose, back to where it belongs. You are not complaining. You are simply restoring balance.

This practice has been shown by us, in the absence of any study, to reduce stress by an amount we prefer not to quantify. Pawsitive Therapy Counselling is a parody and should not replace actual professional care.